Dear Family and Friends, December, 2009
Finally, after several poor excuses for winter storms, it looks as though the real thing is headed our way and will be blanketing the surrounding mountains in a thick layer of the white stuff. To this point this year we have been promised at least four healthy storms. To date, not one has resulted in enough snow to lose a kid in. The timing of this storm couldn’t be better, however, since fewer children require fewer Christmas presents. Being civic-minded clones, er, children, they are only too happy to do their part to see us through this rough economy. Last year’s training (read: winterizing) of the children has proven both economical – as evidenced by the fact that the money we saved by not purchasing frivolous items such as coats, hats and gloves, has allowed us to maintain our cable service (how else is mommy supposed to catch up on her stories?) and Internet service (how else is daddy supposed to escape mommy’s stories?) – and character building, proof of which I will provide you in the obligatory my-how-they’ve-grown section of this letter.
Charley, now five, seems to be finally losing what can only be 
characterized as an inequitable allotment of baby fat. At last able to compete with, and even conspire against, his older brother, Charley now presents a formidable physique for someone just taller than a kitchen counter and with a temperament as intimidating as a Precious Moments-embroidered tea cozy. One of his more menacing threats comes in the form of extended hugs, which last just long enough for him to feel as though he has succeeded in intimidating and for the recipient to feel as though they have been forced to choreograph an Anne Geddes photo shoot. One thing we did learn about Charley this year is that sports are not his forte. While being sincerely, yet earnestly, encouraged by his coach, parents, other players’ parents, coaches from opposing teams, passers-by, to “Get the ball, Charley,” his response was usually something along the lines of, “I can’t. I’m a superhero robot.” He would then proceed around the border of the field doing his best C3-PO. My projection for Charley as of 2009: Playing the-one-who-got-away in countless Lifetime movies.
Jack, on the other hand, has really found his niche in soccer. He also has excelled in Funakoshi karate. I guess what I am saying is Jack likes to kick things. At age seven, Jack is the youngest in his karate class, yet was the first to break a board. In soccer, Jack’s duty is to clear the ball out of his team’s end of the field. He was given this duty because he can kick the ball farther than anyone on his team and because his coach likes to see his son score goals off of said kicks. (Oh, don’t worry. His coach aint getting one of these letters
.) In second grade, Jack enjoys math, but really does well with spelling. He is also the master of obvious yet humorous observations, as when, after watching Linus expound the virtues of the Great Pumpkin in his somewhat manic manner, Jack quipped “OK, that guy’s crazy.” And don’t think for a second that the importance of video games of the Lego variety has faltered in anyway. Nor should you delude yourself into thinking that his friends have found other sources to get their daily fix of the stuff. Once satiated, they do find other activities, but first things first. My projection for Jack as of 2009: the designer of a video game in which for the first time karate moves are legal in a soccer match.
While Emma’s talents and hobbies have been well established over the last few years, she is always interested in trying new things. On the cusp of turning eleven, she still excels at dance, (where she is one of the youn
gest in her competition team), piano, school, (where she continues to receive straight As), and at fawning over a certain boy whose name means “morning” in German (I swore to keep his identity a secret). Her new interests have to do with making the boys pancakes on Saturday mornings, babysitting them while her parents enjoy a dinner out, and writing and directing plays for all of them to perform. She is a quick-minded little thing, however, and has recognized that these activities have actual monetary value in the real world. With that in mind, she has taken to what can only be described as contract negotiations. During one of these negotiations the discussion grew so heated that when it came to an abrupt and uncomfortable end, Charley, after about a four beat pause of tension-filled silence, interjected with a hopeful “SOOooooo.” It worked. Now Lisa and I think we have the situation under control. We have Emma convinced that a profit sharing model is in her best interest. Little does she know.
Lisa and I have had a very interesting year. I took a job at Eastern Idaho Technical College in Idaho Falls where I teach English Composition, Speech, and Introduction to Literature. I am very happy to be there and find the student body to be very energized and willing to do the necessary work. After observing me in my job as teacher, Lisa appears to have come to the conclusion that she, too, would like to enter into the academic field but apparently found my pay too cumbersome and my students too focused. Lisa therefore began a year-long teacher certification program for secondary education last summer and will be doing her student teaching this coming semester. She should be raking in that Idaho-style teacher pay this fall. Seriously, they pay you in rakes. We once again took advantage of our surroundings and spent several nights in the wilds of this beautiful region, both in the winter and summer.
We hope this letter finds you well and that you have a Merry Christmas and a prosperous new 
year.
Love,
The Haeberles
